susanreads | Reasons for radio silence (Reply)

I've had a rotten cold. It's pretty much over now except for the annoying cough, but for a while there, combined with all the Other Stuff, it was using up my cope to the extent that I was neglecting the housework and playing free browser games instead of doing anything useful (or sociable) that would take both energy and brain.

Part of the Other Stuff was Sudden Short-Notice Interview, which was a surprise. My (latest) adviser thought the job was "ideal", whereas I thought it was "very ambitious". I actually came out of the interview a lot more convinced that my skills and experience were relevant to the job, but obviously I didn't convince the interviewers. It's just down the hill, part-time, and mostly IT back-office work, which is me, but they want someone who can do project management and "customer care", which isn't.

Another part of Other Stuff was this (non-diplomatic email to $UTILITY-CO; translating into HTML loses some of the formatting):
I had a query. Now I have a serious complaint about your telephone contact system. I don't know how much I've spent waiting to be put through, so rather than spend more time and money on what might be an hour-long queue, I'll email and try again later.

Original query

I just got a letter saying my direct debit (which should have been taken on $DATE) has been cancelled. It also says "If you wish to continue to pay by direct debit please complete the leaflet enclosed".
Problem i) It doesn't say who cancelled it or why.
Problem ii) There is no leaflet enclosed.

First problem with telephone

I rang the only enquiry line given on the letter, $NOT-A-FREE-NUMBER. It said "Do you want to pay by card, answer Yes or No". (I say "it" although it was a woman's voice, because there's clearly no person in the loop on your end.) I said No. It asked for my account number (by keypad). I put it in and had it confirmed ($ACCOUNT). Then it asked me how much I wanted to pay. After considerable confusion and frustration it put me onto the queuing system, where I waited for a few minutes and gave up.

Second phone call: I work out where the problem is

When I tried again, I answered Yes experimentally and got the same computer voice and routine. I started again and said No at the top of my voice. That got me onto the No path.
Problem iii) Your voice recognition system assumes Yes unless it gets a loud No from someone whose voice is working.

It then asked me several questions, to all of which it wanted an answer by voice. For the account number, it asked for voice or keypad. Then it asked for my postcode, which it made me repeat till it got it - which could have taken all day. Then it put me on the queue, which I gave up on till later (when the call might not be so expensive, even if I still have to wait an hour).
Big problem: Voice recognition does not work. Some people with disabilities that don't affect their voice (unlike mine) use voice recognition. They train it to recognise their individual voices. I'm pretty sure this takes hours. Parsing what a stranger says is hard. Your voice recognition system can apparently tell Yes from No some of the time. It is not good enough for anything more complicated. I can't say this strongly enough. You don't have a usable system. At the very least you need to have options for bypassing the system so that people don't have to struggle until the computer (which doesn't experience pain, frustration, or worry about its phone bill) gives up.

Also, OMG, am I going to have to do this every few months now? What will be the next thing you send me a letter about with no warning, explanation, or usable method of contact?
[no salutation, more as an oversight than a snub]$ME
(I haven't had a reply to the email, but the original problem has been sorted out. The guy at the bank had no problem with the voice recognition system, but waited at least 8 minutes before getting through to a person.)